What do you say? What do you do?

• What do you tell your 3 year old about chemotherapy?
• What do you tell your teenage daughter about losing her hair?
• What do you tell your 10-year son about surgery to remove a cancerous tumour?
• How do you tell your son his sister is dying?

A diagnosis of cancer impacts on children and teenagers in different ways. Ideally, they learn to cope with this stressful period and continue to grow and develop. Sometimes, however, their needs and issues can go unaddressed. The following are some suggestions and information that may be useful to families as they support children and teenagers during this difficult time.

Some quick tips:

• Provide honest, accurate information
• Don’t be afraid to use the word cancer. Being open about the diagnosis will help children and teenagers feel included and foster a trusting relationship
• Encourage children and teenagers to ask questions
• Make sure that they understand that they did not cause the cancer in any and that it is not contagious
• Keep routines as normal as possible
• Encourage children and teenagers to express their feelings and give them appropriate ways to help them express feelings such as anger
• Let them know it is OK to still play, have fun and be with friends
• Reassure children that they will be cared for no matter what happens

Below are some resources and information you may find helpful about how you can help your children and family through the cancer journey.

Appropriate Language for children and young people in hospital
Caring for the caregiver
Death and dying
Helping siblings
Making memories
Play and development for children and young people in hospital
What are community play specialists
A typical day for a play specialist

Useful websites:

www.skylight.org.nz
A national organisation working to support children, young people and families who are affected by change, loss, and grief. Resources include:

1. A national resource and information service on issues of loss and grief
2. A counselling support service
3. Education and training
4. Advocacy

www.centeringcorp.com
The Centering Corporation is a non-profit organisation dedicated to providing education and resources for the bereaved.

www.childcancer.org.nz
A site giving practical, emotional and financial assistance to children and families affected by cancer

www.canteen.org.nz
A website that supports young people/teenagers living with cancer

www.kidscancernetwork.org
A supportive website for children affected by cancer that includes fun and creative activities updated regularly through an 8-page fun letter

www.chemo-to-the-rescue.com
This is an online book for young children with leukaemia. A mother and child wrote the book together during their stay in the hospital

www.2bMe.org
A site for teenagers with cancer
 

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